![]() ![]() You brace yourself each time for the impact. You aren’t okay with it and so you let it not be okay. You let the delicate pattern of the life you’d built with them dissipate and change form with the arrival of each new twist. You let people into your life that you know they’ll never get the chance to love or hate or sit up at night discussing with you. You quit your job and know you’ll never tell them about the new one. ![]() You cut your hair and know they’ll never see it. You stop waiting for them by letting things change. ![]() You absorb it in exactly the way that you’re afraid of. You feel their absence on a core, guttural level. First you delve right into the deepest part of the dark, murky water of missing them and you let it envelope you. You don’t lie to yourself about how it is going to be easy and happy and new in a way that is wonderful- not yet. You move through the places where you wish they still were and you hold your own hand as you go. You stop waiting for them to come back by becoming profoundly uncomfortable. ![]()
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